Catching Me A Fire Youkai!
by Turin resurrected
Summary: Living as a ningen for years,Kurama has been forced to ignore his libido. But NOT ANYMORE! The years of drought are OVAH! You've read lots of fics on Kurama elegantly seducing our beloved jaganshi... but have you read... a Hiei seduction gone wrong! XD


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Turin: Mina san… because of the _sensitivity _of the issue… if you review this fic… remain anonymous…

Hiei: Ch… I thought I heard someone here…

Turin: … muffling his mouth

Hiei: C'mout _dear_ brother, I won't hurt you… much.

**Am I Losing IT? **

Ningens are boring. They're weak. They don't have youki. Heck, they can't even jump from one rooftop to another. As a youko, Kurama was always attracted to mysterious and powerful youkai, from all species and all sexes. Imagine his disgust when he came to ningenkai!

Curbing his libido wasn't really hard. Coz he wasn't attracted to anyone at all. For 15 years.

15 years! That's a Guinness for a youko!

A night without someone is acceptable. If you're alone.

Two nights, all right. If you're sick.

Three nights? You're impotent.

But 15 years! Please check again if you're a youko.

But rain finally drizzled upon his barren desert when a certain jaganshi decided to pay a visit. Kurama's youko heart began to beat again at the sight of Hiei. He had all the requirements. Mysterious, powerful, and that deep masculine velvety voice!

Kurama swore that he'd be his, one day. _One day…!_

And that day, I mean, night has finally arrived! Yah, it took so long, demo… it's worth it!

* * *

Hiei looked terrified as Kurama looked at him with the most undisguised look of desire in his eyes.

"Hiei, you don't know how much I waited for this!" With the fire youkai unable to move, Kurama had no problem undoing the belts. He took his time, humming a little song. "I'm gonna catch you," then a bit deeper, copying Hiei's voice, "you're gonna catch me…"

Kurama looked so beautiful, really! His fiery hair fell on his shoulders, and his pretty face promised everything to the unwilling fire demon. Kurama shook his head.

"Maa, maa… look happy, will you?" Kurama slithered like a serpent beside Hiei, pulling up his black shirt in the process. "My, what a cute body you have," the youko purred in admiration.

He was in the act of spreading the strawberry-flavored sweet milk when Kurama noticed Hiei visibly relaxing.

_Aha! Now I got him! I knew he can't resist my charm!_

After some more spreads, Hiei was softly purring.

"So, Hiei, what's your dirtiest dream…?" No answer. "Hiei?" No answer. Kurama looked up and shrieked, "_Nani!"_

The jaganshi has fallen asleep.

* * *

Hiei woke up with the worst headache of his life. He tried remembering what happened, but he couldn't…

"Itai…" he was in a bed… and in Kurama's bed room, and…

He looked at his body beneath the sheets.

"Oh GODS!" _He's naked!_ And not only that! He smelled like strawberry and milk! "GODS!GODS! GOOOODDDS!"

That fox! It could only be that darn fox! He finally got raped by that damn stupid maniac old smelly ugly worthless fox! He jumped to his feet, but then, he's naked! His mind started whirling. What to do now? He grabbed the sheets, struggling to cover his body… but the simple act of tying a knot in front eluded his panicked mind. Finally, he gave up.

He looked around the room for his katana.

A plan was forming in his mind.

Kill the fox. Use his clothes. Go back to Makai. Kill all youkos. Simple.

"Oh, you're awake…" a weary voice came from the bathroom's direction.

"Bakerou…" Hiei snarled the word. His feet were ready to spring, and his hands had already formed fists when he noticed Kurama's expression. He didn't look like a smug fox. In fact, he looked like someone who hadn't slept all night.

That's cause he was _raping _you!

That spurned him into action! In a moment, he was at Kurama's throat., shouting, 'I'm gonna kill you!'. But the fox looked unperturbed, and still depressed. Not really normal reactions when faced with a flaming fist of kokuryuhaa youki.

"I don't care. I might as well be dead, for all I care…" he muttered slowly. Eyes averted.

"Nani! What do you mean by that? You raped me you dirty fox!"

Kurama's emerald eyes took on a glimmer of attention.

"You drugged me then did what you wanted with me!" Hiei reiterated.

"What are you talking about?"

Kurama's unexpected words made Hiei lose some of his conviction.

"Last night! Last night, you stupid fox!" he shouted, shaking Kurama. Maybe a few bonks on the head might spruce up his memory… he was about to do that when Kurama snickered.

"Nothing happened…," he whispered, half to himself.

Hiei raised an eyebrow before letting go of Kurama's shirt.

"I must be losing my touch… I'm not a youko anymore! I'm turning ningen!" the redhead cried, with more disgust and reproach than Hiei's earlier. Then he sank to the floor and wept.

"Hey…" Hiei was becoming confused. Not all the training in Makai could prepare him for any of this. But faced with this whimpering fox who was crying because he didn't get to do it (with him! His mind reminded)… it's a sensory overload. His plan of killing Kurama lay forgotten.

"Stop that, and get up, bakerou! Where's my clothes!"

But Kurama remained unmoving and sobbing on the floor. With a snort of disgust, Hiei shook Kurama by the collar again.

"Keep quiet about this, and I won't kill you!" Hiei shouted, his patience wearing thin. That was then he heard a gasping sound from the open window.

A girl with hair the color of the sky stared wide-eye at them. She was visibly trying to stop herself from screaming. She was sitting on an equally agitated oar.

What must he look like? He can't let anybody else know that Kurama got so close to…

to…

"Botan!" Hiei's mind rang in alarm. It seems like he shouted it, too. He made a run for the ferry girl, but his reflexes were dulled with all the excitement.

"EEEEEEEEEIIIIII! Don't come near me! You PERVERT!"

That very day, word leaked out of Reikai:

**HIEI RAPED KURAMA!**

Turin: Should I Continue? C'mon, clap your hands! (feeling like Peter Pan. Idiot.)

Hiei: _Die._

Turin: Eep!

Kurama: Run, Turin, run! I got him! dealing Hiei another dose of paralyzing drugs

Hiei: Y-you're gonna… weak, falling to his knees betray me again… like in the Mirror of Utter Dark?

Kurama: naughty grin _Oh, you know what I'm gonna do_…

Hiei's scream echoes through the night as Turin vanishes in the darkness… ready to resume writing "CCS: Swansong" Romance Yuki Touya (shame on me for plugging! Shame! Shame! But please, do read, and review… don't know if anybody's reading it still…sniff…)


End file.
